February 13, 2016

This week: Super Bowl recap, lots of Random Thoughts, Parenting Storytime and more...

I pulled a muscle... - ...patting myself on the back with my incredibly accurate Super Bowl prediction.  Denver's defense played like the No. 1 unit in football and got after Cam (more on him in a minute) all night and Peyton Manning was able to walk off 2-2 in Super Bowls and likely into a Budweiser-sponsored sunset.  The game itself wasn't pretty or spectacular or classic in any way, but it was nice to see the Panthers fall apart at the absolute worst time of the season (says a perpetually-bummed Falcons fan).  

Newton haters (no question marks this time) - If Cam Newton was the victim of an unfounded media crucifixion BEFORE the game, he was certainly the target of some well-reasoned public disappointment and vitriol AFTER the game.  The talking heads and pundits talked this issue to death this week, so I'll leave it alone...for the most part.  My favorite piece of commentary came from Seattle Seahawk Frank Clark who tweeted a video reacting to Cam's complete bailout job on the lost fumble late in the fourth quarter that pretty much sealed the Bronco win:  "That boy's a BITCH!!".  Matter of fact, direct, to-the-point....I like it.  He also added a slightly more eloquent assessment of Cam's diva-like, me-first, parasol-carrying debutante manner of playing: "[In] crunch time he want grapes, I'm eatin' mud".  It didn't help that Cam freely admitted that he purposefully and willfully avoided injury on his "attempt" at recovering that fumble.  If he never makes it back to the Super Bowl, that will be the lasting image of his career archive.  

Random Thoughts 

• The Super Bowl commercials were good (The Date, Alexa, The Ultrasound) and bad (PuppyMonkeyBaby), but the random commercial about "urgent diarrhea" really had me pondering.  Isn't "urgent diarrhea" a bit redundant?  I can't recall a time where diarrhea wasn't urgent and a top priority
• H1 was watching The Little Engine that Could the other day, and Emily unwittingly and hilariously called it The Truck that Can which I joked was the Canadian version.  I also came up with The Moped that Might.  Got any others?
• Watch Judge Judy for a week and you'll think twice about renting (as tenant OR landlord), loaning money to family or friends, or owning a dog. 
• 60 Minutes Sports on Showtime did a piece on Daily Fantasy Sports this week.  They profiled one of the normal heavy hitters in that world and he said that he spends about $1 million a month on thousands of contests.  Meanwhile, I'm still stinging from the $90 I've lost since August.  I was definitely enlightened at how much of a mope I am for being the bait to the big fish of DraftKings.  
• In the spirit of Super Bowl champion Peyton Manning, I'm gonna throw some uncompensated endorsement towards Duluth Trading Company.  I recently bought some of their Buck Naked underwear and boy howdy!!!  Those drawers are so comfy and supportive in all the right places.  I strongly suggest you try out a pair.  My wife got a pair, too, and loves the anti-wedgie component of them.  
• Ben The Bachelor did not disappoint this week and sent Olivia packing and made her take the news in gale force winds on the beach.  The sand shower she got from the tiny twisters whipping across that beach left her with a Rudolph nose and a Huckleberry Hound face.  It was classic.  
• I was never a Beverly Hills, 90210 fan but I learned of this rumor this week.  Did you know that it had a working title of Potomac 20854?

Best Picture nom-nom - I had the unexpected and unintentional pleasure of watching two of the Best Picture nominees this week, Mad Max: Fury Road and The Revenant.  A few quick thoughts: 1) Tom Hardy is a strong contender for his supporting role to Leonardo DiCaprio  2) Mad Max was a complete letdown. Wasn't impressed at all  3) The Revenant was good but I had such unattainable high hopes for it that it too was a bit of a hollow experience.  The cinematography is incredible, not as good as Atonement, but pretty darn good.  There are several scenes that are shot in a way that I've never experienced before.  Lots of quality use of depth and visual trickery.

Restaurant Wars 2: The Strawberry Salad Incident - Top Chef completed their two-part Restaurant Wars episode and SPOILER ALERT the Orange Team completely screwed the pooch on nearly every facet of the challenge.  Their lunch service ran ridiculously late and delayed any productive prep time for dinner.  Each guy on that team faced some serious harsh criticism for various shortcomings in their dishes and/or job performance.  Each of them faced elimination but only one of them had to "pack their knives and go".  I won't ruin it but I was pleased to see this chef hit the bricks.  

Parenting Storytime - When you're home alone with two small children diaper changes regularly become a group activity.  My 10 month old is a mover and a shaker and loves to pull up on anything these days.  My 2+ y/o has recently embraced a daredevil lifestyle that wasn't present three months ago.  A normal bit that we do after concluding his diaper change on top of his changing station/dresser is a modified chest bump where he dives into my chest and I do a figure skater-type lift with him to bonk his head on the ceiling; he loves it.  One day last week things were setting up perfect for our normal post-diaper routine when H2 showed up to ruin our timing.  She was pulling up on his dresser and my Dad clairvoyance quickly predicted that she was about to pinch four of her fingers in the open drawer.  I bent over at the waist to save her digits at the exact moment that H1 went into his BASE jumper release.  BAM!  Amazingly he "landed" bellyflop-style on my lower back and I quickly pinned him against my back with my free hand and prevented a trip to the ER.  It felt like a skit from Police Academy or Naked Gun only with a lot more tears and startled looks.