Sunday, March 13, 2016

March 13, 2016

This week: UFC 196 recap, Reality TV tidbits, New Showtime series, and more...

DISCLAIMER: This week's edition features a section that isn't intended for all audiences.  I'm dead serious.  Some of you may shrug your shoulders and mock me for the warning, but others may appreciate the heads-up

Half an egg on my face - I felt like the perfect rube in the closing seconds of the Conor McGregor-Nate Diaz fight last weekend.  I fell hook, line, and sinker for all the showmanship and bluster that McGregor spewed in the fight hype that I completely overlooked all the obvious holes in his game that Diaz exposed masterfully.  It was a decent fight with an unexpected outcome, but it was one of those unique fight experiences where as the fight develops it becomes perfectly clear that the "underdog" is no underdog after all.  Diaz picked McGregor apart with superior jabs from his long range and eventually broke the Irishman's spirit to take any more punishment, forcing him into a desperation takedown attempt with limited ground skills and zero stamina to put up a fight.  I felt like Tommy Gunn's manager at the end of Rocky V when the fight momentum turned in favor of Diaz.  "You're losing everything!!!"  Alas, that's an overstatement.  McGregor still retains the Featherweight belt and his next opponent will certainly come from that division, likely at UFC 200 in July.  Stay tuned.  

The other egg half - McGregor's shortcomings aside, I did come out on the winning end of one of my predictions when Miesha Tate defeated Holly Holm for the Bantamweight title.  It was a bit of a seesaw battle with each fighter winning a round in the opening two frames.  But then Tate failed to capitalize on the fight momentum and entered the final round facing a "Finish her!!!" scenario and, boy howdy, did she.  If the UFC was sponsored by Sesame Street the closing credits would have noted that "today's fight card was brought to you by Ground Control, without it you'll end up purple-faced and blacked out".  Holm and McGregor both learned this lesson the hard way.  Tate secured an unrelenting hold on Holm in the 5th and never let go looking at one point like she might choke her out standing up.  It went to the mat and within seconds the lights went out on Holly Holm's reign atop the division.  

Any good cook knows what to do with cracked eggs - The UFC's master plan for McGregor went out the window (or, if you're an undying optimist, was temporarily postponed).  He's still a magnetic personality and young enough to develop a world-class ground game, but he'll cool his jets for the rest of this year and likely defend his title twice by December.  As for the Women's Bantamweight division, the Tate upset likely adds one extra wrinkle to the eventual Holm-Rousey II that everyone presumed prior to the Holm loss.  Provided Ronda Rousey is still looking for a fight and not looking to settle down and make babies, then I predict it goes like this:  Tate-Rousey III for the belt (possibly at UFC 200), Holm versus rising star Amanda Nunes for top contender status.  Winners face off for the belt in December.  Its a classic semifinal format.
  
Reality TV tidbits - I'm a fan of gritty docu-series, competition challenges, and home improvement chronicles.  Here are some quick thoughts about an assortment of Reality TV I've seen in the last few weeks:

  • The Bachelor - The finale airs tomorrow (Monday, March 14) and Ben has 'lot of 'splainin to do after telling two women he loved them.  I don't care how you slice it, that's a bad move and the Squirm Meter is gonna be on 10 from the opening credits.  The Women Tell All Special was an uncomfortable walk down memory lane last week.  Overall, I must agree with Chris Harrison that Ben really is an admirable, swell, honorable guy and I could definitely see us hanging out.  I'd probably give him my number if I saw him out at my normal stomping grounds: Children's Museum, Sam's Club, every playground in a 15 mile radius.  Even Minnesota Twin pitcher Phil Hughes likes Bachelor Ben.
  • Top Chef - The finale airs Thursday, March 17 and I like both contenders, but will definitely be pulling for Amar.  He is a great chef who's already won a shot at redemption by claiming the Last Chance Kitchen prize.  Worth noting, Amar was one of back-to-back chefs that got eliminated on frozen waffles and toast; he managed to recover from the soggy toast elimination and he'll hopefully claim the Grand Prize.
  • Survivor & The Amazing Race - Unfortunately both of my faves got cut short due to some scheduling issues on CBS and poor recovery from my DVR.  I'll take this opportunity to inform you that CBS has finally joined the streaming services community with their own All-Access feature.  It works just like the other proven models of Netflix and Hulu.  Free 7-day trial gives way to a $5.99 monthly subscription.  Available on multiple platforms.
  • H2 no longer exists - It was always an honorable mention/afterthought in my channel surfing, but H2 is gone and has been rebooted as Viceland.  If you're a fan of Vice, HBO's hit news magazine show (think gritty 60 Minutes), then Viceland is for you.  I started dabbling with some of their original programming this week and found Vice Essentials and Noisey to be my early faves.  Shows like that are always good for informing on topics you never would seek out on your own.  Case in point, I had no clue how bad things had gotten in Trinidad & Tobago and why.  But now I'm an expert and will be hosting a panel at the next neighborhood bake sale/fun run/yard sale.
Things I never imagined saying before I had children and now seem perfectly normal
  • "its bedtime, we're not eating butt paste."
Redbox reviews - Had the good fortune of watching three movies this week with my lovely wife.  
  1. The Martian - She read the book and saw it in theaters, but this my first time.  It was engaging, easy to follow, and surprisingly believable in a near-future kinda way.  I liked it and think you should check it out.
  2. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation - I love the whole Mission Impossible franchise.  Tom Cruise is a certifiable whack-a-doodle but he makes fun action movies.  This one follows all the usual recipes from the previous installments and has two major action sequences that don't disappoint and a handful of quality fight scenes.  My Dad was always a sucker for action drivel and I feel I'm entering that stage of Dad-hood.  I don't wanna think too hard sometimes, just blow stuff up, beat up the bad guy, and get back the (insert irreplaceable/invaluable/top-secret heirloom here).  Aside from running about 30 mins too long, this movie hit all the right notes.  
  3. The Intern - The kind of movie Redbox was perfectly designed for.  $2 for a cute, warmly satisfying, wholesome movie.  I would never spend movie ticket $$$ on this type of movie, but $2?  Yep.  Its relatively simple with one fun little reveal that I didn't see coming and one cliched storytelling device that I did see coming.  But, overall, its a sweet little movie that everyone with half a soul and a lukewarm heart would enjoy.  Some of you need not apply....you know who you are. 
DISCLAIMER: The final section may not be intended for certain audiences.  The subject matter may be discomforting or offensive.  Please read at your own discretion.







Let's get heavy for a minute - I generally prefer to keep my content light, easy, breezy, and anti-inflammatory....like Ginger Ale or jock itch spray.  But I will occasionally delve into slightly weightier fare when the time is right.  Showtime launched a docu-series earlier this year called Dark Net that addresses various topics related to the seedier side of the internet of which I was mostly ignorant.  I'd read the news stories about the Silk Road and had a limited understanding of the reaches of the nefarious types that surf around those outer reaches of the internet, but this show does an excellent job showcasing topics from the dark web that I never knew existed.  Long distance BDSM couples where the guy is the submissive and wears a genital cage for a vast majority of his week.  The woman who sees the value in RFID bio-chipping for humans and has one "installed".  The content moderators who suffer from PTSD after 6 months on the job.  But the most well-crafted, eye-opening, gut-wrenching, heart-sinking episode was, by far, the story on child pornography.  It was done responsibly, devoid of any sensationalism, and was exactly the gut punch you'd expect.  It was unsettling for sure, but it can't all be Fixer Upper and House Hunter reruns.  I feel a responsibility to turn a sensitive, informed eye to these topics to better understand the human condition and the human psyche.  Its not a show for everyone, but maybe you'll find something that speaks to you.